


Dark

by TomorrowAvenger



Category: The Book of Mormon - Parker/Stone/Lopez
Genre: After Turn It Off, Gay Elder "Connor" McKinley, Hell, How Do I Tag, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Spooky Mormon Hell Dream, hell dream, i think??, please tell me how to tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:01:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26100835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TomorrowAvenger/pseuds/TomorrowAvenger
Summary: Connor McKinley didn't have such a terrible hell dream from a long timeConnor McKinley didn't wake up in a cold sweat from that kind of nightmare from a long time.Connor McKinley didn't lower his head to the crucifix that low and so late at night from a long time.Connor McKinley didn't scratch his flesh so hard from a long time.Connor McKinley, from a long time, didn't feel so damn filthy.
Relationships: Elder "Connor" McKinley/Kevin Price
Kudos: 17





	Dark

Dark.  
He no longer saw the craters, the demons, the lava, the flames... All vanished, as soon as Connor opened his eyes to the small room he shared with his companion the other elders called Poptarts.  
The only sound he heard was his heart, which reached his throat in that moment, and his heavy breathing from the sudden awakening... From what, in the long run, Connor was now confusing with a dream, despite being the principal nightmare of a Mormon. But now, having awakened from the Hell Dream, he was in total darkness.

Seeing nothing of the reality that surrounded him, he could still have the images of that tormented night still alive. The craters, the demons... Steve.  
Yes, that night he saw the child that caused his love fantasies when he was a child. May always be damned the moment when, talking to his companion Price about "confusion", he brought him up again in his thoughts.  
He still had a clear image of that child who was smiling and holding out his hand... And may the child's friendly hand always be damned! As soon as the child took McKinley's hand, the young man wasn't taken to the exit he hoped so much to see, but in large group of tempting boys, a thing that recurs in his nightmares. Handsome, classy, and willing to make him forget to "turn it off". Steve, his dear Steve Blade had brought him there! As they approached to the group Connor tried to let go of the boy's hand, but Steve continued to squeeze, looking at him questioningly. That questioning look, like if he was saying "What? You don't want to?". He was forced to push his way in the horde of young men, among whom he recognized some of his companions, who tried to touch and undress him.

«Kevin...»   
During that fragmented flashback of his, Elder McKinley fixed above all the image of one of the two new recruits. He whispered his name, as if he wanted to connect it to reality, to what Elder Price really was: the emblem of perfection that he could never have achieved, as long as he continued with these dreams. The perfect, educated, self-assured Mormon boy, fixed in his values... Above all the values of religious laws.  
Yes, he would never have attracted him only with a glance, taken his left hand, hand-kissed it like a gentleman, then bring him to a throne, the throne of his nightmares, where Connor would have been tempted, then he would have sinned...   
And he would have been pierced by a divine pitchfork that would have burned so much in his stomach to finally wake him up.

With these last images in mind, Connor tried not to collapse, and with his hands on his thighs he tried to scratch his flesh, the same flesh that was on the legs of that distorted vision of that blessed boy, while he breathed shakily.  
Suddenly he stopped his flogging. He got out of bed, only to kneel on the floor and begin to murmur more and more prayers, lowering more and more his head, to make himself more and more miserable in the eyes of God.  
That murmur woke Poptarts for a moment

  
«Are you still praying...?» 

  
McKinley tried with all his might not to flinch. He stared at Poptarts, trying to smile. Being in the dark, most likely Connor did it more for himself than for his partner.

  
«Y-Yes... I want to be protected more than usual by God, tomorrow... I feel it will be... A very special day...»

  
Without asking too many questions, since he knew the strange habits of his leader, Poptarts went to bed again.

  
«Don't go to bed late... Night, Connie...»   
«God bless you, Poptarts, goodnight... »

  
He thought of his companion's words. Connie? When had he allowed this nickname? He didn't remember it, the only thing he knew was that a nickname from that boy who always seemed almost adorable made him nervous.

  
And this has made him a sinner once again.

**Author's Note:**

> Since this FF is originally in Italian, I tried to translate in the best way I can.  
> If the prose isn't good for an english text, I would be really happy if you could give me some advice on how to get better at translating ^^'  
> My first work on Ao3! Yaay... And it's about McKinley suffering... Yaaaaay...


End file.
